A Couple Of Things About Lilly Kane
by Mel like Mellow
Summary: Veronica-centric. Little snippets of the world after Lilly's dead and gone.
1. Lilly Went to Heaven

**Author's Note: **_An old fic of mine that I spruced up a bit! I love the short time-frame we're given to play with, set between Lilly's death and the beginning of the show. OH, THE ANGST! THE DRAMZ! Anyway, each chapter is a short little blurb to reference a facet of Lilly's personality and the memory she leaves behind. Enjoy!_

It was the first week back to school without Lilly. Veronica walked around the halls feeling like she couldn't breathe. There was a vacuum sucking somewhere between her ears, and she couldn't hear anything.

From across the commons area during lunch - since she wasn't invited to their table anymore, and it's not like she'd willingly invite memories anyway - she saw Dick and Sean clap Logan in their respective manly fashions on his hunched shoulders. Meanwhile, Luke and Casey sipped discreetly at their chocolate milks and tried to play eye-tag with anything that wasn't Logan.

"Dude, it'll be okay, bro. She's ... probably in heaven or some shit. She was cool."

"Yeah, man."

The glances that all the men traded over Logan's bowed head made her stomach churn in sick wonder and she missed her mouth while the gears were turning backwards in her head. Her S-kist spilled all down her front as her hand shook just a little too hard, and as people began to laugh, she had to hurry into the bathroom before she started to cry.


	2. Lilly Wasn't Faithful

"Well, you know that she went down on him at Prom last year, right?"

"Oh my god, that's what Susan said, but I didn't believe it! Wasn't Logan there, though?"

"Uh, yeah! He was fetching her punch and she slipped out."

"God, how could he possibly mourn her?"

"I say good riddance. Besides, Madison's doing a good enough job heading the cleavage department in her place, anyway."

"Emphasis on the 'heading'."

There were nefarious little giggles and Veronica leaned further over the toilet bowl, trying to choke the acid back down her throat and stay very, very still. If she didn't move, she wasn't here. And if she wasn't here...

"Oh, hey, did you see Cindy's new shoes?"

"Yes! And she thinks they work with that purse and belt?"

"It's really sad, the girl's got no style whatsoever..."

The voices trailed out with the swinging of the door, and her hand shook over the stall lock.


	3. Lilly Had Secrets

"Sweetie? Telephone," Lianne called from the kitchen, the affectionate term slurred around the edges.

With a sigh, she laid the BFF charm bracelet down and rolled off of her bed, the comforter sliding down lopsidedly with her. Backup padded behind as she meandered into the kitchen where her mother was now napping, her cheek beginning to stick to the counter with her vodka-laced drool.

Curling her upper lip in disgust, she removed the phone from Lianne's hand.

"Hello?"

"...Did you know?"

The voice on the other end was thick and wounded, and the swallowing to try and rid the lump in her throat was the only sound she made in response into the receiver.

"Fuck you, Veronica."

Logan hung up on her, and she immediately went to delete he and Lilly from her contact list on her cell phone.


	4. Lilly Didn't Return Your Things

"These were yours. Mom found them on ... on her dresser."

The first words Duncan Kane had spoken to her since their non-verbal break-up. In his open palm were two big, white-gold hoops and a necklace with a heart charm that, on the right kind of person and with the right kind of top, would fall right between their breasts.

Veronica could never wear these things. But Lilly Kane could.

She took them from his hand without making contact with his skin, anyway.

"Mom says that if we find anymore of your stuff--"

"Just throw it away," she muttered, and she turned to face her locker, because looking at him was like looking at a dead puppy on the side of the highway - it never got better, it just got progressively worse as the city forgot to clean it up. When she glanced back, he was gone, and she shoved the jewelry into her too-girly purse

Lilly had always been bad about borrowing her things and never returning them.


	5. Lilly Was Judgmental

Sometimes she can't tell whether it was a dream or not.

She's laying there, underneath him, his chest heaving into hers and his breath hot on her neck and their underwear somewhere around her ankles.

And when she looks over to the door, it's all blue and surreal and dark and she can see Lilly with a cocktail in her hand, blood stuck to her party dress as she scoffs, "God! Shut the door next time!"

She thought about it for the first time while in the hair parlor, eyeing her brand new reflection, and she immediately felt guilty about her brain's natural response of 'like she had any room to talk'.


	6. Lilly Would Approve

Shelley's party was long over for everyone else, but for Veronica it felt like every day. She had the fix to it, though.

Her hair was hacked off and her butch boots looked almost too big for her feet. John Enbom and Dick debated whether or not someone should knock her books out of her hands -- would a clean shot of her ass be worth the trouble?

The denim skirt riding up her thighs had them leaning towards a vote of 'yes'.

"Nice go of slutting it up, Mars," someone wolf-whistled, and she sent them a delighted grin that in older times would have lit up a room.

"Love the boots. Where'd you get them, Dykes R Us?"

"Probably Lilly's closet," whispered so-and-so to so-and-so.

"Only she knew how to wear it." They snickered back.

"And take it off." And there were more giggles and pointing.

She strode through between them all and right past Logan's locker with purpose, a flip of her hair, and a recently added shift to her hips. Only, it was still Duncan's locker that she skirted around at the last minute, taking another hallway to avoid the sight of him.

A tight squeeze in her stomach heralded questions of her confidence and sanity, but there were no doubts left when she reached her locker and had to rip the picture of a naked, center-fold-type blonde with her face scribbled out in Sharpie off the door.

On the back of the polaroid, she read the cursive words, with the i's dotted with hearts: "Lilly Kane, this is your life."

She folded the picture and stuck it into her back pocket, continuing with her business of turning the combination of her lock.


End file.
